The Bermuda Drive-angle
By: Daniel Snyder
I’ve never dared to go to the Bermuda Triangle, but it found me. In the North Atlantic Ocean lies a cursed patch of sea, The Bermuda Triangle, where planes and boats cease to function. The water swallows them whole. My “ship,” a Nissan Altima, sputtered to life in my driveway as all the lights flashed before going dark. It happened right before I work on Saturday. I sat in my car and wondered what was going on as I pushed the start button several times and thought it would like magic bring my car back to life. I smacked the steering wheel and vented out some frustration before I hopped into a Lyft, paying $40.00.
Sunday morning, I woke up and ran outside to see if this had all just been a bad dream, and I was almost convinced it was. There were worse places I could’ve been stuck and weather that would surely make the whole experience more intense. None of that happened. It was right outside my house on a perfect fall-ish day. The neighbor parked next to me conveniently came out when I needed to jump my car; rather than move his, he brought out a resuscitation device for my ride. I placed the vehicle in neutral as my dad, in a plain white V-neck, shorts, and slides, pushed my car as I steered it to get it in a better position. I popped my trunk as Andy, the neighbor, placed two metal clamps resembling a dragon’s mouth onto my car battery to charge it up. While my car got prepped, I grew impatient with anticipation.
“Okay, start car now,” Andy said. He had a gray mustache, tan shorts, and a maroon t-shirt on. I guessed he was Polish. I pressed the ignition button, and the car began to chug a bit before returning to sleep. “Anything on dashboard?”
“Yeah, all the lights came on, then disappeared,” I said. Same as before. It took about three more times, and my car finally got the memo as the engine roared like a lion, and I could drive her again. “Thank you, Andy!” He nodded without saying another word and headed to his car to continue his day. This is the part you think would be the end of the story, as my car was all fixed and drivable, and nothing else could ever go wrong. As I would find out, that only happens in the movies.
I was careful to follow the speed limit as I brought my car to Advance Auto Parts to get the battery checked. The lot was empty and hadn’t been paved in a while. As I pulled up, the door to the shop swung open, and I saw Dan, the guy helped me put on my windshield wipers months earlier. He was average height, wore a black polo shirt, clean-shaven, and had specs of gray hair atop his head. He removed the cigarette from his mouth and asked me, “What’s going on?” I told him that as I popped my car’s hood. We tested the battery minutes later and never expected the result we’d get. “That can’t be right,” Dan said.
“What?”
“Your battery is at 100%, kid.”
“But…how? The car had issues starting.” Dan ignored my question.
“It even seems to be overperforming.” There seemed to be no issues with the battery, and when I turned the car off and back on, it worked perfectly. Dan told me I didn’t need a new battery when he could’ve easily lied and made a sale. I respected that. I shook his mechanic-like hand and drove home. Sunday continued as I wrongfully assumed everything was better.
The next night, I got off work around 8 p.m. Breathing a sigh of relief and feeling accomplished, I was ready to return home, but my car had other plans. I pressed the ignition button, and a sense of Déjà vu hit. The car did nothing. It didn’t even sputter this time. I was stuck in space with a dead engine and nowhere to go. I leaped out of the car and approached the nighttime manager, “Do you have any jumper cables? My car won’t start.”
“Sorry, man. I don’t.” I ran up to a newer girl working there who drove a minivan to ask her the same thing. Her window was rolled up, and I didn’t want to startle her, so I grabbed my phone and turned on the flashlight, waving it in front of her. She slowly rolled it down.
“Uh, excuse me, you wouldn’t have jumper cables on you, would you?”
“Sorry, I don’t.” Damn. She looked like she was pondering something and then said, “My dad might have some in our garage, and I only live a few minutes away. I can check if you’d like,” she said. Rather than accepting her more than generous offer, I declined.
“Thanks, but that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you like that. I can get a tow truck that’ll have some shortly.” Famous last words. She and three of my coworkers rolled past me in their rides and headed down the main street. I was alone in the darkest parking lot in the world, with nowhere to go. Rectangular buildings spanned both sides with a few lights on. A row of semis was fast asleep in front. The trees bent over as the wind commanded them while threatening clouds loomed overhead.
My mind played worse-case scenarios, and I even considered sleeping here. I ordered a tow truck, and the nearest one wouldn’t be here for at least an hour and a half. Great. I hadn’t eaten much for lunch, and my stomach made me very aware. There aren’t many places open late at night, so I ordered an Italian sandwich from Jimmy John’s. The driver parked outside my office building and scratched his head as no one answered the door. I hopped out of my car, and the driver, a younger guy, a high schooler, spun around as I called out.
“Hey, man! That’s for me. My car is stuck here, so I used the office as an address.”
“No worries! Are you okay?” I walked up to him as he handed me my sandwich.
“No, not really. My car won’t start, and I’m hungry. You guys were the only ones open, thankfully. By the way, you don’t have any jumper cables, do you?” I received the same response as I did previously.
“Sorry, man, I don’t. You got a tow truck or something coming?”
“Yup. Should be here within the hour.” He didn’t know what else to say, but I could tell he felt terrible for me.
“Oh, okay. Well, good luck. Enjoy the sandwich!” As he drove away, I checked on when the tow truck was supposed to arrive, which was delayed about thirty minutes. I was grateful that I had some food now. I got back into my car to enjoy the meal, and as I did, water began to pelt my windshield and windows. At least I’ve got some shelter from this, I thought. I ate the sandwich, which provided temporary comfort, and washed it with an ice-cold Sprite.
There’s this girl I went out with once, and I texted her to let her know what had happened. She didn’t live too far and thought she might be able to get my ship going again.
“Hey Anna, my car won’t start, and I will be stuck outside work for a while… SMH.” She replied thirty minutes later.
“Hey! Sorry, I was busy. U still at work?”
“Yeah, will be for about another hour or so.” It, of course, was the “or so.”
“Why!!” I explained the situation with my car to her. She was mad that nobody helped me and asked if I had cables. Gosh, I wish I had cables. I told her I didn’t, and the battery was working perfectly according to the test earlier. “Maybe it’s your alternator then.” I had no idea what one of those was. “Want me to see if my sister has cables?” I did. This situation seemed to be turning in a direction I preferred more.
The sprite I drank worked on me, so I walked near the edge of the parking lot where a bent-over fence and a forest lay. I checked over my shoulder before I watered the trees naturally. Meanwhile, I thought I saw something slowly approaching me in my vulnerable state. The weather taunted me. Twenty minutes passed until Anna told me her sister had given the cables to someone else nearby. “I’m not okay with you lingering at work!” She then surprised me with the knowledge I would never have expected she’d have. “I cannot tell you how many cars I’ve jumped or batteries I’ve replaced, so this is driving me a little crazy, haha.” Anna reiterated that it must be my alternator if the battery is excellent, which she could not do in a parking lot. “Plz tell me when you figure it out or when someone comes.”
I closed my eyes for what only seemed like seconds and awoke an hour later to my phone ringing from an unknown number. I answered it because I thought it was God or the towing company. The towing guy told me he was a few minutes away. A young, rotund, Middle Eastern man stepped out of the car, and I explained to him my situation. He was sympathetic towards it even though he had driven about two hours to jump-start my car. His name was Ahmad. It took a few attempts, but we got the car up and running on the third try. What about a third time, and everything works suddenly anyway?
“I think you’re good to go, my friend. Drive it around a bit and see what happens,” he said. I did, and all appeared to be in working order.
It worked enough to get me home, so I thanked him and waved as I returned home at 11 p.m. I texted Anna, letting her know I got back safe and was taking the car to get looked at tomorrow. I went to bed exhausted from the experience but thankful I had switched to Progressive Insurance because they covered the cost of towing and all the people along the way who helped me get through this (And no, I’m not sponsored by them, though I guess I do sound like it). There was still one more thing I needed to figure out.
I woke up earlier than usual, at 7 AM, and headed to the dealers to inspect my car. I had no caffeine in my system, which is an absolute necessity for me to function. I don’t know if this is a coincidence, but the guy who looked at my car was also named Dan. He wore a plain black t-shirt, a short black beard, and jeans with grease stains. He told me he couldn’t find anything wrong with the battery and that the alternator was working perfectly. I rubbed my chin as we talked, and he told me he couldn’t figure out what was happening.
“Batteries have a life of three to five years, and since your car was a rental and probably on the parking lot most of the time, maybe it’s dying quicker. It’s much more sensitive to the different weather changes and temperatures,” he said.
“What would you recommend I do?
“You could leave it here overnight, and then we’ll try it again in the morning, or you can replace it. Your battery is approaching the four-year mark, so you’ll have to do that soon anyway.”
I wasn’t hopeful that leaving it overnight would work since that had already been something I tried, so I decided to bring the car back home after discovering that my brakes needed replacements as they neared the end of their life.
After my brakes were replaced, I went back to Advanced Auto Parts and got my battery changed because that was what Dan from the dealer had recommended. Brian, the only guy there able to replace my battery, spoke with a lisp, was about 5’5, balding, and had glasses. I initially didn’t want him messing with my car because I thought he might screw something up and was unqualified. This was a silly and immature thought I had because it turned out that he was an expert in his field and did magnificent work installing my brand-new battery. Don’t judge appearance. Judge action. I thanked Bryan and shook his hand before hopping into what felt like my brand-new car. The lights flashed instantly and stayed on this time as the engine made its presence known. I haven’t had any issues since, but if something comes up, I’m much better equipped to handle it. I survived The Bermuda Drive-angle.
This is usually the part where I’m supposed to promote myself. I’m just glad this found you because I believe, for whatever reason, it was destined to. If you’d like to check out my other work, follow, comment, share, or tip, that’s entirely up to you. I promise we can still be friends either way :) Thank you for taking the time to read this, and I hope you enjoyed my words!
-Daniel Snyder
“Either write something worth reading or do something worth writing.”
-Benjamin Franklin
Copyright © All Rights Reserved.
